 Coping with Transition in High-Stress Professions
October arrives with a noticeable shift. The days shorten, the air cools, and our schedules feel heavier as fall deepens into winter. For those working in high-stress professions—fire rescue, social work, and other frontline roles—this season can bring not only physical changes but also emotional ones. Transitions, both personal and professional, can feel sharper against the backdrop of shorter daylight and increasing demands. William Bridges, a leading thinker on transition, offers a helpful framework for understanding change. He reminds us that change is external—new leadership, new policies, new schedules—while transition is internal: the psychological process we go through as we let go of what was, live in between, and eventually embrace what’s next. His framework offers three phases: endings, the neutral zone, and new beginnings. Let’s explore how this applies to our unique context and what practical tools can support us in navigating transition well. Endings: Letting Go of What Was Every change begins with an ending. For firefighters, that may be the closing of a shift that involved tragic loss. For social workers, it could be the conclusion of a difficult case or the departure of a trusted supervisor. Endings stir up grief, frustration, or even relief. Practical application: One of the most overlooked skills is learning how to come off a difficult shift and re-enter family life. Instead of rushing through the door still carrying the weight of the day, create a transition ritual:
The Neutral Zone: Living in Between Bridges describes the neutral zone as the in-between space—the place where the old has ended, but the new has not fully begun. This is often the most uncomfortable phase, yet it’s also where creativity and resilience are built. In professional life, the neutral zone might look like:
New Beginnings: Embracing What’s Next Eventually, transitions move toward new beginnings. A fresh routine, new leadership, or even personal healing comes into focus. The new beginning requires energy and courage to engage with life differently. For those in high-stress professions, embracing beginnings may look like:
Practical application: As the year winds down, consider adopting one new resilience ritual—something sustainable that supports body, mind, and spirit. Examples include:
Final Reflection October’s changing season mirrors the transitions you face in your professional and personal life. By naming the endings, honoring the neutral zone, and stepping into new beginnings, you can move through change with greater clarity and strength. For firefighters, social workers, and others carrying the burdens of high-stress professions, remember: transitions are not signs of weakness. They are opportunities for renewal. And just as the earth turns through its seasons, so too do we grow when we allow space for endings, waiting, and fresh starts. This fall, give yourself permission to pause, reflect, and begin again.
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 September is National Suicide Prevention Month and September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day.
The theme for this year is "Changing the Narrative on Suicide." Two stated goals for this year are;
When your job is helping others, the question of whether YOUR OWN mental health matters can feel selfish or even irrelevant. After all, firefighters rush into burning buildings, social workers carry the weight of broken systems, and medical examiners confront the hardest realities of death. Each of these professions demands resilience, sacrifice, and an ability to focus on others in moments of crisis. But here’s the truth: your mental health is not just important — it’s essential. Why Mental Health Gets Pushed Aside For first responders and human service professionals, the culture often values toughness, composure, and “getting the job done.” In the fire service, that might mean brushing off a difficult call to keep morale up at the station. For social workers, it might look like absorbing the trauma of a client’s story without acknowledging how it affects you. For medical examiners, it might mean facing tragedy day after day with no room to process the personal cost. These expectations create a dangerous myth: that taking care of your own mental health is optional. The reality? Ignoring it doesn’t make the stress go away — it simply buries it, where it can show up later as fatigue, irritability, broken relationships, or even burnout and illness. Why Your Mental Health Matters to Others Think of it this way: if you neglect your equipment, you know it will fail when you need it most. The same is true of your mental health.
What Good Mental Health Looks Like Good mental health doesn’t mean you never feel stress or sadness. It means having the tools and support to process those emotions in healthy ways. It looks like:
How to Protect What’s Important
If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal ideation or self-harm, please know you are not alone and help is available — call or text 988 in the U.S. to connect immediately with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or reach out to a trusted counselor, peer, or chaplain. Your life matters, and support is only one conversation away.  In the August 25, 2025 episode of Hidden Brain host Shankar Vedantam sits down with psychologist George Bonanno to revisit how humans respond to grief and trauma—and why resilience might be more common than we think. The conversation isn’t about denial or toxic positivity; it’s about showcasing the surprising strength in many people’s natural response to life’s setbacks.
Rethinking Grief: More Patterns Than Stages Bonanno challenges the prevailing “five stages of grief” model and the idea that grief must follow a rigid blueprint. Instead, his research identifies several distinct trajectories:
The “Resilience Blind Spot” A key insight from Bonanno: we often can’t see our own resilience while we’re still reeling from a trauma. He calls this the “resilience blind spot.” During moments of deep distress, it's hard to believe you'll ever be okay again—but many people do recover, and sooner than expected. Putting Positivity into Perspective The episode also debunks popular ideas like trigger warnings, arguing that they may do more harm than good by reinforcing anxiety rather than helping manage it. Plus, Bonanno offers a hopeful counterpoint to the notion that grief must be painful and visible: genuine moments of laughter or joy after a loss aren’t invalid or avoidance—they’re often signs of healthy resilience. Key Takeaways
Why It Matters This episode is a game-changer—not because it oversimplifies trauma, but because it makes space for how common quiet strength really is. If you're trying to navigate loss, or support someone who is, this episode offers a powerful reminder: healing doesn't always look like pain. For many, it looks like life. And that’s okay.  Firefighting is a calling. It’s physical. It's noble. It's exhausting. Day after day, call after call, your body and mind absorb the weight of what the world throws at you. And yet, somewhere in the middle of the shift work and the adrenaline and the training drills, another part of your life quietly waits to be tended—your relationship with the one you love. What does a healthy romantic relationship look like in a profession that runs on alert tones and irregular hours? Maybe the answer isn’t about doing more, trying harder, or fixing what’s broken. Maybe it’s about learning to rest—on purpose. Letting the Field Go Fallow In the ancient rhythms of farming, a field was never meant to be planted every single year. Every seven years, farmers would let the ground go fallow—a season of rest where no crops are sown, no yield is demanded. The soil simply lies still, regathering strength, rebuilding nutrients, becoming fertile again. What if your marriage or romantic relationship needs a fallow season? Not a breakup. Not a breakdown. But a quiet, intentional retreat from constantly producing, solving, fixing. A time to restore. In firefighting, the pressure is to perform—to do. But in relationships, growth often comes not from doing, but from being. Wendell Berry, both poet and farmer, writes of this sacred stillness: “And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home.” (Wendell Berry, “The Unforeseen Wilderness”) Making Space for Home Your partner doesn’t need a firefighter—they need you. Not the one solving problems at 2am on scene, but the one who slows down enough to ask, “How’s your heart?” or to say, “I’m glad we’re us.” Relationships, like soil, require margin. Space to breathe. Space to fail and forgive. Space to sit on the porch without an agenda. To go to therapy. To laugh. To sleep in. To hear poetry. How to Let Your Relationship Breathe
Let the Field Rest If you’re reading this and feeling the weight of a relationship that feels dry or strained, hear this: not all growth is visible. Roots grow deepest in stillness. You don’t have to fix it all today. But maybe today you let the ground breathe. You soften. You rest. Because love—like soil—renews itself when we stop demanding it perform.  A friend of mine recently shared this podcast episode with me. I've been listening to it since thinking of all the ways it could resonate with leaders in throughout the fire service as well as up and down the org chart of county government. I'd love to invite you set aside an hour of your drive time to listen. I've provided you with a summary of the episode below for your use after listening. Summary of Collette Revere’s Interview with Dr. Wayne Wilson on Feedback Fix
1. Introduction & Background
 The firehouse and the home front run on two very different rhythms. At the station, every second is structured by tones, calls, and routines. At home, family members have been living their own schedule while you’ve been away. The shift change can feel like stepping from one world into another — and sometimes that transition is harder than the shift itself.
Why Transitions Matter If you walk through the door carrying the weight of a tough call or the adrenaline of a busy night, your family often feels it before you say a word. The way you transition sets the tone: it can either spark connection or create distance. Learning how to “shift gears” not only strengthens your relationships, it also protects your own well-being. Practical Tips for a Healthy Transition
Closing Thought You spend your shifts protecting the community. Coming home is where you protect your family — and that starts with protecting how you show up. By creating intentional habits in those first few minutes after a shift, you can step into your home not just as a firefighter, but as a spouse, parent, or friend who is present and grounded. 
 Dan Allender’s The Deep-Rooted Marriage framework focuses on strengthening a couple’s bond by addressing hidden wounds, fostering genuine connection, and cultivating hope amid life’s hardships. At Elbow Tree Cooperative, this approach is adapted to meet the unique challenges faced by firefighters and first responders, including the chronic stress, trauma exposure, and unpredictable schedules of their professions.
 As a mental health counselor who frequently supports first responders, social workers, and medical examiners, I highly recommend Do Hard Things for its refreshing, research-based perspective on resilience and toughness. Steve Magness challenges the conventional “push through the pain” approach by exploring nuanced ways we can develop inner strength in high-stress environments—a topic especially relevant to those in frontline, crisis-driven fields.
One of the book’s core insights is that real toughness involves discernment, self-awareness, and compassion, rather than brute force or suppressing emotions. Magness demonstrates how the body’s cues—often dismissed in high-intensity careers—can actually guide us toward healthier coping mechanisms. This is particularly important for first responders and forensic professionals who regularly witness trauma; the resilience practices outlined in Do Hard Things emphasize identifying stress signals and utilizing evidence-based strategies (like mindful self-talk and boundary-setting) to maintain peak performance without sacrificing mental health. Throughout the text, Magness weaves in stories and studies that highlight how resilience is more than just grit. He explains how supportive environments, vulnerability, and thoughtful recovery periods build authentic toughness. These principles resonate deeply with my clients in emergency services and public health, who routinely manage life-or-death situations. I especially appreciate how Magness references the importance of emotional regulation skills, helping readers understand that responding effectively under pressure requires both physical and psychological readiness. In sum, Do Hard Things is a meaningful, science-driven resource that can empower first responders, social workers, and medical examiners to cultivate true resilience. By dispelling myths about mental fortitude, Magness offers a path toward sustainable strength that prioritizes wellbeing as much as professional performance. Favorite Mic Drop Moments in the book:
 "Write hard and clear about what hurts.” –Earnest Hemingway Have you ever considered keeping a journal? Whether you are highly experienced or have no experience at all with journaling, I'd like to recommend three resources for deepening your journaling experience.
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron is often considered a guide for unlocking creativity, but its principles extend well beyond the artistic realm. For fire rescue personnel, who regularly face intense situations and high-stress environments, the practices outlined in the book can serve as valuable mental health tools:
"The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know.." –Henri Houwen
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