Grief Resilience Assessment Tool (GRAT)

Based on "Resilient Grieving" by Lucy Hone and "A Grace Disguised" by Jerry Sittser
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Grief is a profound and multifaceted emotion that doesn't adhere to a set timeline, often resurfacing with renewed intensity around significant dates. As the anniversary of a loved one's passing approaches, it's common to experience a complex blend of emotions—from deep sorrow and longing to cherished memories and even moments of peace. This milestone can serve as both a painful reminder of the loss and a testament to the enduring impact the person had on one's life. Acknowledging these feelings is an essential part of the healing journey, providing an opportunity to honor the memory of the departed while also reflecting on personal growth and the ways in which their legacy continues to shape the present. 

​As you find yourself approaching the anniversary date of specific loss in your life, do not hesitate to reach out to us at Elbow Tree. We would love to help you navigate any unattended heartache you are carrying around. Call us at 904.877.4750 and we will help you get connected with an Elbow Tree team member.  

Grief Resilience Assessment Tool (GRAT 1.0) - Part One
Method: Personal Reflection and Contemplation

This assessment tool is designed for folks who are navigating the complex journey of grief. Integrating the insights and principles from Lucy Hone's "Resilient Grieving" and Jerry Sittser's "A Grace Disguised," this tool aims to:

• Assess the your current coping mechanisms and resilience levels.
• Identify areas where the you may need additional support or intervention.
• Facilitate meaningful conversations about loss, resilience, and personal growth.
• Incorporate both psychological strategies and, if appropriate, spiritual perspectives on grief

Section 1: Understanding the Nature of Grief
Purpose: To gauge your perception of your grief and how it affects your daily life.

1. Grief Awareness
   • How would you describe your grief experience since your loss?
   • What emotions have been most prominent for you?
   • Are there specific triggers that intensify your grief?
2. Acceptance of Emotions
   • Do you feel comfortable expressing your emotions related to your loss?
   • Have you found yourself suppressing or avoiding certain feelings? If so, which ones?
3. Impact on Daily Functioning
   • How has your grief affected your daily routines and responsibilities?
   • Have you noticed changes in your sleep patterns, appetite, or energy levels?

Section 2: Resilience and Coping Strategies
Purpose: To assess your resilience levels and coping mechanisms, both positive and negative.

1. Adaptive Coping
   • What strategies have you found helpful in managing your grief?
   • Can you share instances where you felt a sense of control or agency in your healing process?
2. Maladaptive Coping
   • Are there any habits or behaviors you've adopted that you feel may not be helpful or could be harmful?
   • Have you experienced any substance use, social withdrawal, or other behaviors that concern you?
3. Resilience Factors
   • Reflecting on past challenges, what qualities or resources helped you overcome them?
   • How might those same qualities assist you now?

Section 3: Meaning-Making and Personal Growth
Purpose: To explore how the you are processing your loss and whether you can find meaning or opportunities for growth.

1. Search for Meaning
   • Have you found yourself searching for a reason or meaning behind your loss?
   • How has this search impacted your grieving process?
2. Narrative Reconstruction
   • Can you describe how your life story has changed since the loss?
   • In what ways have your perspectives on life, priorities, or values shifted?
3. Personal Growth
   • Have you noticed any areas where you've grown personally since your loss?
   • What strengths have emerged or been reinforced during this time?

Section 4: Support Systems and Relationships
Purpose: To evaluate your support network and the quality of your relationships during the grieving process.

1. Social Support
   • Who have been your main sources of support?
   • How satisfied are you with the support you've received from friends and family?
2. Communication
   • Do you feel comfortable talking about your grief with others?
   • Are there people with whom you wish you could communicate more openly?
3. Community Involvement
   • Have you participated in any group activities, support groups, or community events since your loss?
   • How have these experiences affected you?

Section 5: Spiritual and Existential Reflections
Purpose: To understand your spiritual beliefs and how these may influence your grieving process. 

1. Faith and Beliefs
   • Has your faith or spiritual beliefs influenced how you cope with your loss?
   • Have you experienced any changes in your beliefs since your loss?
2. Spiritual Practices
   • Are there spiritual or religious practices that bring you comfort?
   • How often do you engage in these practices?
3. Existential Questions
   • Have you found yourself contemplating life's big questions, such as the nature of suffering or the meaning of life and death?
   • How have these reflections impacted you?

Section 6: Setting Goals for Healing
​Purpose: To collaboratively establish goals and identify steps you can take toward healing and resilience.

1. Identifying Needs
   • What do you feel you need most at this point in your grieving process?
   • Are there specific areas where you'd like support or guidance?
2. Short-Term Goals
   • What are some realistic goals you can set for yourself in the next few weeks?
   • How can you implement strategies to achieve these goals?
3. Long-Term Vision
   • Envisioning the future, what does healing look like to you?
   • What steps can we plan together to help you move toward that vision?

Grief Resilience Assessment Tool (GRAT 1.0) - Part Two
Method: Rating Scale

Introduction
​Grieving is a deeply personal journey that varies greatly from one individual to another. This assessment tool is designed to help you reflect on your resilience in the face of grief. Drawing from the wisdom of renowned authors who have explored the depths of loss and healing, this tool aims to provide insights into your coping mechanisms and identify areas where you might benefit from additional support or self-care.

​Please note: This assessment is for personal reflection only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice.

Instructions

• Read each statement carefully.
• Rate how much you agree with each statement based on your current feelings or behaviors.
• Use the following scale:
  • 1 – Strongly Disagree
  • 2 – Disagree
  • 3 – Neutral
  • 4 – Agree
  • 5 – Strongly Agree

Assessment Statements

Section 1: Acceptance and Understanding of Grief

1. I acknowledge that grief is a natural and necessary process.
2. I accept that my feelings of grief are valid and normal.
3. I understand that grieving is a unique journey for each person.
4. I allow myself to feel a full range of emotions without judgment.
5. I recognize that questioning my beliefs during grief is part of healing.

Section 2: Finding Meaning and Transformation

1. I believe that suffering can lead to personal growth.
2. I search for meaning or lessons within my loss.
3. I am open to allowing grief to transform me positively.
4. I find ways to honor and remember my loved one.
5. I see my grief as an opportunity to deepen my compassion for others.

Section 3: Focusing on What Can Be Changed

1. I focus on aspects of my life that I can control.
2. I practice gratitude for the positives in my life.
3. I set realistic goals to aid my healing process.
4. I engage in activities that promote my well-being.
5. I find strength in overcoming daily challenges.

Section 4: Connection and Support

1. I reach out to others when I need support.
2. I maintain connections with friends and family.
3. I share my feelings with trusted individuals.
4. I participate in community or group activities.
5. I feel supported by those around me.

Section 5: Navigating Transitions

1. I understand that life involves endings and new beginnings.
2. I allow myself time to adjust during periods of change.
3. I embrace uncertainty as part of life's journey.
4. I am open to new experiences following my loss.
5. I view transitional periods as opportunities for growth.

Scoring

1. Add up your scores for each section.
2. The maximum score for each section is 25 (if you rated all statements as 5).

Interpretation

• 21–25: High resilience in this area.
• 16–20: Moderate resilience; some areas may need attention.
• 11–15: Low resilience; consider exploring ways to strengthen this aspect.
• 5–10: Very low resilience; seeking support might be beneficial.

Remember: This assessment is a starting point for reflection. Grief is complex, and resilience can fluctuate over time. High or low scores are not judgments but insights to help you understand where you are in your journey.

Next Steps

• Reflect on your scores: Which areas are you strongest in? Where might you need additional support?
• Consider reading: Revisit the books mentioned for deeper insights into areas where you scored lower.
• Seek support if needed: Don't hesitate to reach out to mental health professionals, support groups, or trusted individuals.

Your journey through grief is uniquely yours, and it's okay to seek help along the way.

Disclaimer: This tool is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult a qualified professional for medical or psychological concerns.

BOOKS ON GRIEF:
Here are ten influential and widely acclaimed books on grief that many readers have found helpful:

1. "On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss" by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler 
   Explores the five stages of grief and provides insights into the emotional journey after loss.
2. "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion
   A memoir detailing the author's experience coping with the sudden death of her husband.
3. "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis
   A deeply personal account of the author's bereavement following the death of his wife.
4. "Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy" by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant
   Sheryl Sandberg shares her journey after the unexpected death of her husband, offering practical advice on resilience.
5. "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi
   A memoir by a neurosurgeon diagnosed with terminal cancer, reflecting on life, death, and what makes life meaningful.
6. "It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand" by Megan Devine
   Challenges societal norms about grief and offers compassionate guidance for those navigating loss.
7. "Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief" by Martha Whitmore Hickman
   Provides daily meditations to support and comfort those who are grieving.
8. "The Grief Recovery Handbook" by John W. James and Russell Friedman
   Offers actionable steps for moving beyond loss and addressing unresolved grief.
9. "Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail" by Cheryl Strayed
   A memoir about healing from personal tragedy through a transformative solo hike.
10. "Resilient Grieving: Finding Strength and Embracing Life After a Loss That Changes Everything" by Lucy Hone
    Provides strategies for building resilience and finding meaning after significant loss.

These books cover a range of perspectives and experiences with grief, offering insights, comfort, and practical advice to help readers navigate their own journeys through loss.